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| Boston - Don’t Look Back album cover art |
Don’t Look Back
Don’t Look Back, the title of one the best rock albums ever made, is also very good advice. The band Oasis sang, “Don’t look back in anger ”, which is probably better advice. So in the tradition of New Year’s resolutions, I guess this year I would like to focus on not fixating on the past by living more in the present.
Realizing that being continuously angry about things that happened in the past is an exercise in futility. Your mind holds onto traumatic experiences to help protect you from future traumas. However, the act of repeatedly recalling bad memories, only serves to lock you into being influenced by traumas you would ideally like to escape from. Sometimes the repetition can also introduce subtle changes in the details of a memory causing it to morph from the original experience, thus accentuating the trauma.
I find it difficult to, not, look back at my previous life experiences. I seem to have a long, detailed memory. If I’m honest with myself, it’s all too easy for my traumas to affect my waking state of mind. This is very bad habit, deeply ingrained and something I would sincerely love to break from. Perhaps my aging brain would kindly grace me with a little selective forgetfulness.
During a therapy session I was asked the following questions; “If you packed all your troubles in a suitcase, would you be able to close it? Imagine yourself carrying the case with you everywhere you went. Finally, imagine yourself having to open the case and sift through your troubles every time you had to make a decision or compose a thought. That experience clearly seems exhausting and downright ridiculous, why would you want to put yourself through such a stressful routine. Yet many of us do exactly that.
During another therapy session we discussed the modern reality of storing digital photographs. If you were born before the digital age you will understand the following scenario. In the days film photography most people were very frugal and selective about taking photos, film processing and printing was expensive and slow. The advent of digital photography freed users and allowed them to take as many photos as they’d like. You could save them on your computer, print them and share them online. However, decades later, you may have discovered that you have only stored them in a digital shoebox in the clouds. Your photos are not cataloged in any useable sense and you hardly ever share them or even view them, and most likely you have only ever printed just a few of them or none.
Then I was asked to compare that packed suitcase of memories that I lug around everywhere to the terabytes of saved but seldom viewed digital photographs. Which memory cabinet do I utilize more? Obviously, yet unfortunately the suitcase of dark and disruptive experiences wins out. Why? Why does misery win over images of smiling faces, puppies, flowers, concerts, beaches, trophies, birthdays, graduations, weddings, newborn babies, friends and loved ones.
Of these two environments, which would you honestly want to immerse yourself in? Sadly, I am guilty of choosing the suitcase far too often. Since I was the photographer of all of these happy, beautiful photographs, why don’t those memories hold a more prominent place? Is there a way to overwrite bad memories with pleasant moments?
So it’s about time now in 2025, to spend more time focusing on populating my mental photo gallery with current positive references that can fuel my happiness and creativity. It certainly beats carrying that heavy suitcase around.
Happy New Year to you all.
Peace and Love - Nudge
