Identity?

 

Nudge?

Who Are You?

Let us contemplate this; you are conceived, born and named without any input from you. The environment you are brought into is a complete mystery, good, bad or ugly. The language, the religion, the schooling, the family traits, bias, grievances, and quirks you’ll be forced to navigate as you grow. The more you analyze the path you took to get to today, the more amazing and weird it seems. 

Who you are, or maybe I should say, who you think you are, is a direct result of the above mentioned conditions. However, we must add to this baseline; the trials and tribulations, the triumphs, the nurturing or lack of. Does this not also shape who you are?

Country of origin, and their associated local environmental acts of god, are massively impactful conditions you could’ve been born into. 

What the hell am I getting at here?  Frankly, I’m just thinking out loud. I have recently been doing some soul searching as I try to reclaim my life out of my own suffering. (See prev articles, if you’re interested).

The basic fact is that, who I am, is no longer who I was five years ago. For all my positives and negatives, I was the same person for most of my life. I never questioned my identity, I was me. Sadly a large portion of that me, has gone on vacation or maybe into hiding. He’s had enough and just wants to be left alone, and I think he’s earned his rest.

So where does that leave me now. Who am I? What are my current positives and negatives? What desires or goals does the new me have? I must clarify that I know that I am loved, and I am capable of being able to love. This is not a story of depression. I feel a difference in my soul. I fought so very hard to be here, and I’m very glad that it worked out. This body was given a new expiration date, but I feel like I’m floating through these days, grasping at shadows and answering whispers on the wind. I have a constant question in my mine, “Is this what I should be doing?”.

Nudge.